Office Etiquette 101

For those of you who were raised on a farm or just live under a rock, I have put together a little something for you so you don’t get a stapler thrown at your face.

1. Do not call or come by someone’s desk before 10AM. The morning commute can turn the sane crazy, so it would be best for you to put the questions on hold until they have settled in a bit or at least have taken their coat off.

2. Don’t be a snitch. If you see I came in a few minutes late, don’t go running to the big shots, cause when you slip up it wont be pretty ;)

3. Use email. Believe it or not, most of us are working, so unless something is extremely urgent, try not to just pop up at somebody’s desk with ridiculous questions. When there is a free moment, your email will be answered.

4. Give a bitch a minute. If you sent an email or asked me for something, can you wait at least 5 minutes before following up?

5. Stay by your own cube. Nothing is more annoying than when a bunch of people with nothing to do stand around your cube when you have a mountain of work piling up.

6. Keep off speaker phone. If you do not have an office with a door, let’s keep the speaker phone use to a minimum. If you want everyone to hear what you have to say, schedule a meeting or conference call; I’d be happy to attend. While you are at it, lower the damn volume on your ringer, it wakes me up every time you get a phone call.

7. Don’t be a hater. Just because you are a hot mess doesn’t mean you need to grill the cute girl (yours truly J ) that was just transferred to your department every time she walks by. Jealousy is not very flattering.

8. Don’t be a gossiping whore. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

9. Dress conservative. This is an office, not a G-Unit video shoot. We don’t need to see all that.

10. Control your odors. Believe it or not there are some people that don’t think a shower is necessary. Well it is. Also, if you need to pass gas, go take a walk outside, close the door to your office or go in the bathroom, but don’t do it by your coworker’s desks.